One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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