I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she told me i tasted like america
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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