I want you more than these girls want KFC
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
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Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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