After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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