How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize