Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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