Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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