dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize