its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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