There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
PANTIES FOUND
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