we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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