i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The power of my boobs compel you
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