Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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