Umm I'm too high to move.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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