I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
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Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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