Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
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It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
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Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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