i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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