I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize