I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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