i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize