I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
COCAINE IS GR8
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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