I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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