Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
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