So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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