Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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