My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize