Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize