Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize