dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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