Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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