I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize