oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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