I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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