I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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