Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize