Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize