he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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