Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize