Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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