He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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