if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize