dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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