when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
FUCK WHALES
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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