I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize