hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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