I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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