Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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