So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize