let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize