This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize